What is fear? Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain. People experience fear in their lives over a variety of things from being afraid of the dark to being afraid of animals. Children carry around more fear than the average adult because they have not learned a lot about things to be unafraid of them. The great fear in my life began and ended in my childhood. It all started with my fear of the toilet and ended with realizing that I had to overcome my fear to be able to do the things I looked forward to in life.
My fear started one night when I was walking past the bathroom. The door was open to the bathroom and I heard a weird growling noise coming from within the bathroom, so I went in to the bathroom to look for the source of the growling. I heard it again and the growling was coming straight from the toilet, or so I thought it was growling in my five year old mind. In actuality the toilet water was running but I had a vivid imagination, and didn’t learn that toilets often make that noise until a few months later. I very quickly exited the bathroom and ran and hid in my room. That first night in my bed I woke up with the urge to go to the bathroom, but I knew that there was a growling toilet in that room and I was not going in there. I tried to resist the urge until morning when I could use the bathroom in the safety of daylight. I climbed back in to my bed, and snuggled up to go to sleep. I fell asleep with the thought of not being able to use the bathroom on my mind. This led me to dream about playing outside in the rain, and jumping in puddles with my green froggie boots and bright yellow raincoat.
In the morning when I awakened I woke up to a puddle of pee. Apparently in my sleepy state I had not snuggled in to my own bed but in to the bed of my brother, who was not very happy to awaken to a puddle of pee. I tried to get away before he woke up but that did not happen and he called my parents right into the room. To my luck my dad was the first to hear the call. He came with a flash and beat my—butt. I was then too scared to talk to my parents about why I peed the bed. My peeing the bed became a nightly ritual.
My parents could not figure out why I was wetting the bed all of the sudden. I had been potty-trained since before I was two years old and had never had a problem using the bathroom, and I was not afraid of the toilet in the daytime. My parents continually asked me what was wrong with the toilet but I was afraid the toilet monster was going to come after me if I said anything to anyone. My dad got increasingly frustrated and told me that I needed to get over my fear of the toilet because I would soon be going to school soon and big boys did not pee the bed, and a big boy was what I wanted to be if I could only stop being afraid.
At first my dad telling me I would not be able to go to school did not bother me because I was too terrified to even consider the possibility of being near the toilet in the night. As time passed and me going to school grew closer I grew more and more excited to go to school. My two older brothers got to go to school every day and I was jealous of them and the adventures they had at school. They both always came home with stories about the different things they got to do at school and the cool new friends they made every different grade they were in. They brought home cool projects that I couldn’t wait to do too. I was excited to spend the whole day away from my parents, spend time making my own friends, and become more independent from my parents.
My fear started one night when I was walking past the bathroom. The door was open to the bathroom and I heard a weird growling noise coming from within the bathroom, so I went in to the bathroom to look for the source of the growling. I heard it again and the growling was coming straight from the toilet, or so I thought it was growling in my five year old mind. In actuality the toilet water was running but I had a vivid imagination, and didn’t learn that toilets often make that noise until a few months later. I very quickly exited the bathroom and ran and hid in my room. That first night in my bed I woke up with the urge to go to the bathroom, but I knew that there was a growling toilet in that room and I was not going in there. I tried to resist the urge until morning when I could use the bathroom in the safety of daylight. I climbed back in to my bed, and snuggled up to go to sleep. I fell asleep with the thought of not being able to use the bathroom on my mind. This led me to dream about playing outside in the rain, and jumping in puddles with my green froggie boots and bright yellow raincoat.
In the morning when I awakened I woke up to a puddle of pee. Apparently in my sleepy state I had not snuggled in to my own bed but in to the bed of my brother, who was not very happy to awaken to a puddle of pee. I tried to get away before he woke up but that did not happen and he called my parents right into the room. To my luck my dad was the first to hear the call. He came with a flash and beat my—butt. I was then too scared to talk to my parents about why I peed the bed. My peeing the bed became a nightly ritual.
My parents could not figure out why I was wetting the bed all of the sudden. I had been potty-trained since before I was two years old and had never had a problem using the bathroom, and I was not afraid of the toilet in the daytime. My parents continually asked me what was wrong with the toilet but I was afraid the toilet monster was going to come after me if I said anything to anyone. My dad got increasingly frustrated and told me that I needed to get over my fear of the toilet because I would soon be going to school soon and big boys did not pee the bed, and a big boy was what I wanted to be if I could only stop being afraid.
At first my dad telling me I would not be able to go to school did not bother me because I was too terrified to even consider the possibility of being near the toilet in the night. As time passed and me going to school grew closer I grew more and more excited to go to school. My two older brothers got to go to school every day and I was jealous of them and the adventures they had at school. They both always came home with stories about the different things they got to do at school and the cool new friends they made every different grade they were in. They brought home cool projects that I couldn’t wait to do too. I was excited to spend the whole day away from my parents, spend time making my own friends, and become more independent from my parents.
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